Musings From the Deer Spirit

from an interview with Kala Ambrose is an award winning author, intuitive and talk show host of the Explore Your Spirit with Kala Show.

Kala -
Tom Pinkson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, ceremonial retreat and vision-fast leader, sacred storyteller, and shaman. For 32 years he worked with terminally ill children at the Center for Attitudinal Healing in California, successfully integrating the wisdom teachings of the Huichol and other medicine teachers into the world of the practicing psychologist. Prior to that he helped start the second Hospice program in the US. His most recent work is about honoring elders through a program he created called “Recognition Rites For A New Vision of Aging (working consciously with the challenges and opportunities of the elder years). The founder of Wakan, a nonprofit organization committed to restoring the sacred in daily life, he lives in northern California. Tom’s book is The Shamanic Wisdom of the Huichol: Medicine Teachings for Modern Times. More info at: tompinkson.ning.com.
** Recently, I had the opportunity to ask Dr. Pinkson about his work and research of the Huichol.

Kala: Hi Tom, thanks for joining me here on Kala’s Bohemian Blog. Your book is The Shamanic Wisdom of the Huichol: Medicine
Teachings for Modern Times. The Huichol tribe, is not as commonly known as other tribes, most likely because they were never conquered by the Europeans. What is the origin and history of the Huichol?

Tom: The Huichol, known to themselves as the “Wixárika”, are believed to be descendants of a tribe of people caleld the Guachichiles from the state of San Luis Potosi, which is north central Mexico, a high desert area surrounded by mountains. They left the area traveling three hundred miles to the west on up into the high mountains of the Sierra Madre Occidental to escape the invading Spanish conquistadores. They introduced their peyote-based religion to the local inhabitants and established their new homeland where they continue to live to this day.

Kala: Religious traditions seem to be transforming in this new century and in many cases, blending. I’m hearing that many people, when asked to describe their spiritual practice or belief, describe an a la carte type of belief system. They choose to pull in bits and pieces from various religions and blend these to create a new spiritual tradition. What are your thoughts about blended traditions?

Tom: I think it is fine to explore and learn from different traditions but the bottom line is that one has to have a practice that they build into their lives, a regular discipline that enables them to experience a spiritual communion and integrate the fruits of that numinous encounter into the acts and relationships of their daily life. Otherwise it is just empty words. The true test of one’s spirituality is how one treats the people in their life, how one treats Mother Earth, the animals, the plants, in other words, all our relations since in truth, we are related to all beings and to the visible and invisible forces of nature, experienced by indigenous peoples as spiritual entities.

Kala: If a person was interested in the ways of the shaman or following shamanic wisdom, what steps would they take to begin?

Tom: One could begin by remembering that the Earth is alive, conscious, has a spirit, as does the ocean, the mountains, the forest, the desert, the trees, plants, animals, the sun, the fire, the rain, i.e. The cosmos are alive and we are totally dependent upon their gifts for our lives. Thus we owe them a debt of thanks-giving for as we “feed them” with respect and gratitude – and this is precisely what many of the ceremonies and rituals are intended to do – they will continue to feed us and so the cycles of life continue on. But we modern folk have lost touch with this reality and think we can just take and take without giving back which leads to an imbalance, a disharmony, a breaking of the sacred trust handed down by the creation stories which is to respect, honor and “give-back” to the animating life-giving powers (spirits) of the universe for when we fail to do so, disaster is the result. We can see this disaster all around us today with the reality of global warming, increasing social unrest and other increasing ills of modern society.
Given this understanding a good place to start in following the ways of shamanic wisdom is to not just take but to give back. When the sun comes up each day, face it and give thanks. Before you take food or drink into your mouth, give thanks to the wisdom powers that made and give you the gift. Find a way that is in alignment with your integrity to open your heart and give some loving thankfulness that is real back to the creative intelligence that gives you your life and sustains it. Remember that you are not here by accident but through the grace of those powers. Remember that you are a sacred and worthy being, that at your essence you are love and that love is for giving. Take the steps appropriate for you to open to deeper listening for your purpose in being here and then try your best to live out that purpose each day of your life. That is a good start.
Kala: Describe for our readers the Huichol Medicine Teachings and how they are used in healing practices.
Tom: The spirit of the fire, known as “Tatewarí” – Grandfather Fire – is the Elder who leads the ceremonies and guides the human shaman. The Deer Spirit- Kayumari – is its ally and brings the wisdom guidance messages from the Fire to the human shaman who then follows the guidance that is given for healing. The ancestor spirits, the sacred plants, such as the peyote which is considered to be the footprints of the Sacred Deer in the Huichol holy land, Wiricuta, where it grows and is harvested in a yearly pilgrimage led by the shaman, are used to obtain communion with the spirit world through which instructions come for what must be done to bring about healing.

Kala: Chapter Six of your book is titled: Responsible Ecstasy. Can you describe this feeling and connection?

Tom: A natural human need is to experience ecstasy as a periodic part of life; its joyful, its healing, its celebratory, its exhilarating, it frees us temporarily from the imprisonment of ego identity and ego consciousness. When this need is denied or repressed, it can be expressed in toxic, destructive or self-destructive ways which are culturally harmful. Indigenous societies as the Huichol build in to their cultural framework periodic experiences of ecstatic release that are socially integrative rather than socially disintegrative. Responsible ecstasy refers to finding ways of meeting one’s natural need for this experience that are healthy, life-affirming and socially beneficial.

Kala: Our planet, mother nature, gaia, has been treated badly, poisoned, polluted, and the natural resources exploited. What do the Huichol say about the state of the earth and what’s to come for the future?

Tom: My spiritual grandmother Guadalupe de la Cruz, a Huichol holy woman now in the spirit world, told me over twenty years ago that Father Sun was slowly coming closer to the Earth each year because the “the People in the North had forgotten how to live in a respectful way with Mother Earth.” The Sun was coming closer to purify us so that we would wake up and remember how to live in a sacred way. She gave me the assignment to return home and help the people here learn how to wake up and live as we were intended to – in harmony with nature and with each other – all of our “each others”.

Kala: The Huichol are located in Mexico. Do they share any prophecies similar to the Mayan prophecies of 2012?

Tom: Many Native prophecies, not just the Mayan, speak to the coming to the American continent of a people who do not know how to live in right-relationship with the land, its peoples and its spirit. They speak of how disaster results from that behavior. As mentioned above in the words of Guadalupe there is the notion of the Sun coming closer to the Earth to purify us but it was not told to me in terms of a specific date. She also said, as I have heard in other prophecies, the final outcome is not yet determined. It depends upon those of us who are alive today and what we do. Purification is taking place but to what extent it will go and what will come out of it is in the mystery. We are in what Joanna Macy calls the “Time of the Great Turning” and each of us is called to wake up and do our part in shape-shifting destructive life ways to sustainable ones that respect and work in cooperative harmony with the powers of nature and with one another to create a world that works for all life and the generations to come.

Kala: Many of us are not able to travel and live amongst a shamanic tribe for any period of time. Given this fact, what insights on how to live a Shamanic lifestyle, can you provide that can be accessed and applied anywhere regardless of a person’s surroundings, including city dwellers?

Tom: Underneath the concrete of the biggest city, above the tallest building there is still the sky, the clouds, the rain, the sun, the snow, the moon and stars and beneath it all the Mother Earth. Each day no matter where you live and whether you can see it or not the Sun rises in the east and brings a new beginning that cuts through the darkness of the night. The powers of nature are still in operation no matter the location of our dwelling place and one can still give thanks to them for the gifts they give you of home, food, drink, clothes, breath. One can still seek to open the heart and remember that we are love and that we are here to love, to be kind, to be compassionate, to help those less fortunate than us, to be a conscious part of transforming our life ways to ones that honor life. We are all given the gift of creativity and special gifts of being that are uniquely ours, we all have a sacred purpose in being here. Set out on your own quest for deeper vision that helps you discover that purpose of why you are here and then do your best to live it out each day that you are alive.

Kala: If a Huichol shaman could share their thoughts with us at this moment, what would they most like to say to the world?

Tom: As my spiritual grandmother Guadalupe would tell me when I went to ask her an important question – “Go ask Tatewarí”. Listen to the Old Ones Who Know – the Sun, the Fire, the Earth, Great Grandmother Growth, the Deer Spirit Kayumari. They will tell you. They will guide you. They are your Elders. But first of course you must give thanks for the gifts of your life. Do not ask for more until you have expressed your thanks for what you have already been given. Then there will be balance and right relationship. That is the way to go. Find and visit the sacred sites near where you live. Give them some appreciation. When you treat them right they will open up their wisdom and help you on your path.

Kala: Tom, thank you for your time, appreciate your insight and all the best to you in your work.

Tom: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

The bamboo shadows sweep the steps
But raise no dust.

Driving through the pre-dawn darkness on my way to meet Wakan community members to ceremonially welcome in the Spring Equinox, I saw with my spiritual eye the Great Medicine Wheel of the Seasons. I saw that with the coming of light on this day, March 20, 2010, new sunlight cutting through the darkness of night turns the Wheel through which the growth-energy of Spring pours forth into the world.

This precious gift of the rebirth of life emerging from the fertile womb of winter is amplified fuel, chi, mana, kupuri, power. It enters into us as it does the branch of the tree, the stem of the bush and since we as two-legged beings are given, through the evolution of our cerebral cortex and the soul, growth-work we have taken birth to do, the ability to choose what we want to empower via our attention, we have a very special opportunity, and response-ability to choose consciously what seeds we want to plant in the garden of our lives.

In this Great Turning Time of challenge-fullness we are all called out on the martial art mat to see what role we will play in contributing to the efforts to reach a critical mass of transformational consciousness that shifts destructive toxic paradigms to life-affirming and life-supportive ones for now and generations to come. The wisdom of the Changing Seasons and the Power of Spring calls our awareness to humble receptive attunement with the Wisdom of the Cosmos for guidance in how to respond in ways that truly help heal the Sacred Hoop of Life and restore right-relationship with the seen and unseen powers/spirits of nature and the Mystery.

Years ago wisdom elder Alfred North Whitehead counseled – “We should not be asking what the universe is made of, but what the universe is doing.” The universe, as Whitehead saw it, and today as described by quantum physicists, is comprised of energetic patterns that are self-organizing and continuously coming into being. The universe is not a noun, it is a verb! Information and Knowledge is not something to try and possess but instead the raw material that can grow into Wisdom as the outcome of our relationship to the cosmic energy patterns that in-form us through the changing rhythms of life, death and rebirth.

Two young friends of ours’ died in the past month, one a few days ago from a wound incurred while surfing, another while skiing at Squaw Valley a few weeks ago - young men in their prime. All this while spring bursts forth all around us; multi-colored tulips, golden poppies, scarlet shooting stars, soft white and pink blossoms on the fruit trees, so glorious, so magical. The energetic patterns of life and death dance together, intimate partners, neither of which could be without the other.

Our young friends were both really good guys - kind, generous, loving, who went for life with gusto. They lived fully going for what brought them joy. They died doing it. The juxtaposition of their deaths with the emergence of new life poignantly brings reflection to the preciousness and fragility of this amazing experience of being alive that we get to share for whatever the amount of our time in being here. The preciousness and precariousness puts ever more emphasis on using our gifts of choice wisely – planting seeds for healing, kindness, courage, generosity, creativity, forgiveness (is that not what the love is for? For Giving),for beauty, for justice, for balance and harmony, for peace – seeds that will feed our souls, open our hearts and lead us to fulfillment of our purpose in being here.

Powered by the Life Force of Spring may we remember that, along with our tender flesh and blood, we are Light Beings of Great Spiritual Dimension, inter-connected in the Sacred Web of Creation with All Our Relations.

The wild geese do not intend to cast a reflection,
The Water has no mind to retain the image.

May we re-claim the wonder, magic and mystery of being alive. May we seek not to serve ego but to serve the evolving drive of the Tao to greater wisdom of Knowing our Oneness, Celebrating our Diversity and Honoring the Opportunity, Challenge and Response-Ability we share to create a win-win world that works for all.

With the Full Blessing Wisdom Power of Spring –
MAY IT BE SO!

HAPPY SPRING EQUINOX AND SEASON TO YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE. LOVE, tomás

Ancient Teachings –

“As systems science and ecological understanding is discovering the process
nature of our reality and world as a dynamically interrelated whole, we are
also rediscovering this same understanding in ancient spiritual teachings o
our planet’s peoples around the world.” Joanna Macy

Hola Relatives - one of the many principles from attitudinal work is that we
are all students and teachers for each other. Below is a recent account
from the journal of a middle-aged lawyer whose experience offers a
spiritual teaching about the sacredness of connection and the power of
gratitude to open doorways to its realization.

With great gratitude for the many wonderful teachers in my life. tomás

WHITE DOVE MEDICINE

Tom and I are working on spiritual development rather than traditional “talk
therapy.” We are working on fear and jealously surrounding my partner
Marie’s relationship to her ex-husband. Marie let me know she wanted to
spend time with her son at her ex’s house on Friday to put up Halloween
decorations and have dinner with the three of them. This sets off fear for
me. Tom and I look at this today. First we role play, Tom being Marie, me
being me. Tom states what Marie said: “My ex is the father of my child. I
will be in constant communication with him until my son is grown. He is
part of my larger community and I want to make sure that things are good
with my son and him there.” Somehow, coming from Tom it’s easier to hear
and I am able to lose some of the edge around Marie having dinner with her
ex.

Tom asks me to look inside. “Find the fear, what does it say?” “It is
fear of losing Marie. Fear of being rejected.” “Where is it located?” “In
my heart.” “What does it feel like? What does it look like?” “It’s like a
box. A solid square, constricting my heart.”

I see the square is built thought by thought going from side to side in the
box. Thoughts building on each other making the box stronger, through
repetition. Tom says “Go inside and ask what needs to happen for healing
of the fear. Ask for an ally to help you with it and tell me what appears?”
An image of a White Dove immediately appears to me. The White Dove flies to
my heart, grasps the box and flies it away to the heavens. Leaving my heart
free. Then it comes to my head and grabs a bunch of thought forms, which in
my meditative state appear as sticks and White Dove flies these away as
well.

Tom asks, “what is White Dove’s medicine.” I say, “To take thoughts away
that bind me.” White Dove takes them away, they are released.”
Immediately I feel goose flesh, a tickle of the spine and skin as if
something greater is present. From experience, I know that this is my
body’s way of letting me know that this is Truth.

Tom asks me if I want to give thanks to White Dove for its medicine. “Yes.”
He gives me a drum which I use to sing my gratitude to White Dove and the
Great Spirit. Later Tom speaks of the importance of making gratitude part
of my daily practice through daily offerings .

Friday, White Dove’s Medicine 10/24/09

On Friday, Marie asks me if I want to join her and her son at her ex’s
house. “Yes” I reply. I go and we have a very nice time, sitting and
drinking wine with her ex for 20 minutes as Marie gives her son a bath. It
seemed natural and easy. Scratch my head … this jealousy thing is
unnecessary. Marie states how supported she feels relieved that my jealousy
is leaving.

Sunday, 10/26/09 White Dove Appears

I awake with renewed commitment to White Dove medicine. I realize that I
must commit to making a daily offering to White Dove as Tom has encouraged.
I sit at Marie’s and my altar in front of large windows, and thank White
Dove for the gift of her medicine. I pray that her medicine remain with me
and release me from binding and fearful thoughts. I have a feather on the
altar in front of a statue of Mary. I thank White Dove and state an
intention that this feather be a reminder of it’s medicine. I meditate,
and see that matter is merely energy and that energy and thus matter, is
influenced and shaped by thought.

My eyes open and there is a White Dove flying above our back yard. I do a
double take. I have never seen a white dove in San Rafael and yet here is
one shortly after a prayer to her. I swell with gratitude saying aloud -
“Thank you White Dove for appearing and affirming your energy. Thank you
for the beauty you bring into the world and thank you for the gift of your
medicine that you have brought in my life.” White Dove continues to fly
around our house. Then disappears. I go to our kitchen to get an offering
of food. I find a small stone bowl in which to put an offering and place in
it seeds. I take it to our back deck and raise it above my head, my arms
extended above and say another prayer of gratitude. As I do so, White Dove
appears and flies directly over my head about 10 feet above and calls - a
sound like a purr. I am overwhelmed.

I come inside, tears on my face. Marie asks what’s going on. I tell her
about my work with Tom and what has transpired today with White Dove. She
is deeply appreciative and expresses her wonder and gratitude at what has
transpired. As Marie expresses this, I see White Dove again flying directly
toward us, and Marie sees her too as she flies to our rooftop, very close to
us. Then, all of the sudden there is a commotion. A hawk has swooped down
in an attempt to catch White Dove. Marie sees White Dove escape. I go on
our deck and shoo hawk away.

I go downstairs to the backyard to see if White Dove is injured. I find her
by the stairs leading up the side of our home. She starts to hop up the
stairs. I follow her up the stairs a fair distance behind so as not to
scare her. I lose sight of her as the stairs circle to the front of the
house. When I get to the front of the house I figure she has flown away, as
I cannot find her. Then I look at our covered front entryway and there she
is, at our front door! On our welcome mat. I am overwhelmed with gratitude,
my heart wide open. I call to Marie. We both are amazed when I show Marie
though the front window, that White Dove sitting on our welcome mat. Thank
you Great Spirit.

I am concerned that White Dove was injured by the Hawk. She is on our
sidewalk now. I meditate for a minute and then approach slowly. She flies
perfectly. She is fine. 10 minutes later, we are sitting on our deck
looking out as White Dove makes a final appearance and then departs.

Later that day, I am in the driveway. I hear a noise and look up and on our
steps is a beautiful buck - a gorgeous adult male deer with full antler
coming down the steps that White Dove only recently went up. We live in a
fairly suburban area of San Rafael, and I have not seen a single deer, until
then, on our property. But there he was in all his glory.

Monday 11/2/09

Since White Dove appeared I have been making an offering every day
expressing gratitude daily for her gifts. Today I am particularly
appreciative finding that a whole area of thinking - general worry thoughts
- that was binding me, was leaving… being released, even though I was
putting no conscious attention or energy to stop the thoughts. It was truly
a surprise to realize the subtlety with which the White Dove Medicine was
working and in ways that I had not even thought about. Thank you White Dove.

Later while driving my son to school traveling down Second Street I pull up
next to a white panel van and turn my head to read the writing on the side
and smile as I read it… “DOVE PLACE” it said. I silently express my
gratitude and as I turned my head White Dove is flying overhead 30 feet in
the air. She alights on a nearby utility pole. I get goose flesh again
realizing more than ever that Spirit and our animal allies help us with
medicine gifts if we only listen.

Thank you Spirit for everything. For this life. For my family, Marie and
the boys. For the gifts you give me.

Thank you White Dove for your medicine. I am awed by the gentleness of your
spirit and how your medicine is transforming me.

Thank you Tom for your guidance, helping me to reopen more fully to Spirit
and to Truth.

“We should understand well that all things are the work of the Sacred Mystery.  We should know that the Sacred Mystery is within all things; the trees, the grasses, the mountains, the rivers, all the four-legged animals, the winged people.  And even more important we should understand all this deeply in our hearts then we will be, and act and live as the Sacred Mystery intends.”                                                            Black Elk, Lakota holy man

A learned friend remarked years ago on the absurdity of NASA’s attempts through sophisticated monitoring equipment to pick up signs of transmissions from intelligent beings from other galaxies. “Isn’t it ironic”, he said, “that we spend millions of dollars trying to find these weak transmissions from somewhere far off in space, when there is a field of intelligence that we are actually embedded within and which surrounds us at all times?” Gregory Bateson, author of “Steps to an Ecology of Mind”, calls this intelligence “a seamless web, an “interactive wave system of multi-leveled, multi-dimensional connectedness that constitutes a field of consciousness that is to be found in the water, vegetation, earth, mountains, and the very air that we breath for our lives.” This is the living world of nature and the Gaian Mind that has regulated and sustained our planet in a homeostatic balance throughout its billions of years of its existence.

Our indigenous ancestors world-wide learned and lived its wisdom teachings for understanding it ensured their very survival.  This understanding along with the contemplative practices and ceremonies it engendered which emphasized the sacredness of reciprocity with the powers/energies/spirits that give us breath, food, water, shelter, light, warmth and protection, forms the foundation of shamanism,  humanity’s oldest form of relationship to the spiritual.  It is this shamanic understanding of Gaian wisdom that we are so alienated from that ironically leads us into space seeking signs of intelligent life when all this time we have been living in a field of intelligence from the very beginning.

Imprisoned in socially conditioned, linguistically-based boundaries of “yours and mine”, “inside and out”, predicated on identification of self as separate from the field of non-human intelligence in which we are embedded, we are unaware of the distortions through which we perceive the world around us. Yet these distortions over time have led to fear-based, patriarchal social, economic and political systems organized around consumer-based corporate capitalism emphasizing profits and economic efficiency over people and life on this planet.  As a result we are the only species that defecates in its own nest. While some are rewarded materially by these systems, everyone loses in the long run, effected physically by environmental degradation and emotionally and psychologically by violence and social unrest. Caught up in the struggle to stay afloat along with media-induced distractions and sideshows, we have lost our collective soul and a meaningful connection to the powers of nature that give us and sustain our lives.

Yet an integral view of Nature’s wisdom teachings is still alive in the knowledge of remnant indigenous cultures such as the Huichol, a shamanic people of north-central Mexico with whom I have worked since 1981 who still follow their traditional ways dating back to  Paleolithic times. The Huichol say we are “perdido”, lost, that we have forgotten that the earth is alive, that all life is sacred, and that it consists of an extended kinship involving mutual, reciprocal responsibility to care for one another thus maintaining balance and harmony of the whole.  We in the modern world have forgotten this inter-connectedness with nature and so treat it, and ourselves, as separate and removed from one another. Our very designation of nature and the environment as “out there”, as “wild”, as “wilderness”, is indicative of the depth of our alienation.

Ironically it is “out there” that we find our best hope for reconciling our relationship with nature because it is there that we most easily discover that we are not separate from it, that we are part and parcel with it. In the natural world the only input is what nature creates,  thus it is there that we can experience on all levels of our being the encompassing dance of inter-relatedness. On the summits of the peaks, in the desert, the forest, far out at sea, our ego’s are humbled, artificial boundaries dissolve, and one begins to realize the “smallness” of who we are as defined by our egos and how boundless we are as part of nature, intimately connected with all of existence -  trees, clouds,  mountains, animals,  plants.

People throughout history have immersed themselves in the natural world, the “wilderness” as we call it, to discover, attune, commune,  reconnect with and cultivate the relationship of their deeper being,  their soul, with the numinous mystery of creation.  Through eons of time indigenous youth entered the sanctuary of the natural world as a vital part of their rite of passage towards spiritual adulthood, towards taking ownership of the fact that they are sacred worthy beings, here with purpose from a sacred creative force of the universe.
The laws of nature reveal themselves to anyone who takes the time to open to their teachings. Reflective inquiry, intention, receptivity, patience, respect, humility, gratitude, courage, perseverance and attentive mindfulness serve as keys to open the door to “wilderness wisdom” and its compelling lessons for strategic stewardship sustaining healthy biodiversity on our planet.
I witness this every time I take a group of people out into a wilderness setting.  Over the days and nights of living in accordance with natural rhythms, people gradually become entrained to them and get more relaxed, more peaceful, slower, feel saner, more open, see more, enjoy the simple gifts more, become kinder.  In the wilderness the truths of birth and death, balance and harmony, the interconnectedness of all beings and the wonders of creation communicate eloquently to the senses, to the deeper psyche and to the soul.  It leads to a natural movement from what Heidegger called “calculative thought” to “contemplative thought”.
I recently returned from my thirty seventh year of vision questing in the High Sierra. I go up each September, after the people and mosquitoes have left the mountains. I take a small group of folks. We backpack in to a secluded valley surrounded by soaring cliffs with small trout pools in her granite belly.  Each person spends at least two days and nights fasting in solitude in a spot that has called them for their time of being alone. Taking time to step out of your comfort zone, your socially defined role definitions and obligations is an experience that can open you to the core.

It offers opportunity to downshift from Doing-State to Being-State, a time for self-reflection, self-confrontation and self-expansion; an opportunity to re-experience our shared human primal heritage - a natural being in the natural world. This opportunity has a challenging doorway for us westerners - we are so addicted to our time schedules, our activities, our busyness, our distractions, that it can be quite anxiety-producing to have totally open time to just be. Time itself seems to slow down. The sun moves so slowly across the sky, the moon so slowly through the night. Minutes seem like hours.  The test is to learn how to be present with just being, “Ashkanka”, here and now in Nahuatl, enjoying the gifts of the ordinary.

Along with hunger, boredom, anxiety, extreme weather conditions ranging from unrelenting heat during the day and below freezing at night, the effects of fasting at altitude, isolation and loneliness, the slow passage of time combines synergistically to “thresh” the psyche.  During this middle stage of what takes place in all rites of passage - the liminal, preceded by “the call” and “severance”, and proceeded by the “return and incorporation” stages, the questor is worked day and night by what emerges through the trials they endure.

Fear - “Was that stick cracking in the dark the bear whose fresh tracks were down in the mud by the creek this afternoon?” - takes you into facing your death, into confrontation with your shadow, your darkness, your habituation, your addictions. These are the guardians that stand at the threshold of the gifts that lie within - a deep sense of peace and acceptance of what is, how the universe works, how nature unfolds her mysteries of creation.  Over time and through surrender, questors connect with their hearts, with their souls, their deeper strivings, values, and what truly matters to them. Through emersion in the natural cycles of day and night, through slowing down and staying in one place, senses sharpen, people experientially get their connectedness with the web of life, seen and unseen. Daytime visions and night-time dreams bring forth the archetypal and numinous as biorhythms gradually attune with the rhythms of nature.  Slowly, sometimes painfully through cathartic release, people come into a state of well being, a feeling of “at-homeness” that emerges from knowing you belong here, are a part of here, and have something meaningful to contribute to the circle of life.

Two spiritual themes or “medicine teachings” emerged from my most recent quest. The first began in the parking lot in front of my office as four other men, one woman and myself held hands in a circle in front of our cars for a departing prayer. A call from a woman passing bye for her appointment at a physical therapist, broke our concentration. “Hey Tom, what are you doing here?”

After greeting the wife of a dear friend who had died just over a year ago and explaining that we were just about to  leave on vision quest, she excitedly told me she had some of his ashes in her car and that he would “love to go to Yosemite with us.”  I took the small container and told her I would be honored to spread them out in the mountains where we were headed.

Several days later on the first night of solitude, I had a dream about a man being executed. In the dream I was amazed at his composure, his complete serenity as he spoke to the executioner explaining where in his skull he wanted the bullets to go. He then kneeled down to meditate as peacefully as if he was at home in his garden relaxing on a Sunday morn. The executioner then placed the gun where he requested, pulled the trigger and the man slumped to the ground, his life in this world over.

I awoke in a sweat. I thought about the synchronicity of meeting my friends wife just before we left for our quest, about her giving me some of his ashes, about how two members of our group had found a tree high up on a ridge overlooking a steep cliff, a tree that held items from people that had died with a book in a metal box under a stone at its base, a book with pictures and stories about the deceased whose sacred objects were now waving in the breeze on branches of a tree high in the Sierra Mountains, a tree we dubbed “The Shrine Tree”.

I thought about how I had shared with questors on our last night together before heading out for our time of solitude that songs or chants might come to them to help them through challenging times. I mentioned that Plains Indians used singing to help them to die consciously by facing death with honor and courage and that on vision quest it was good to be prepared to die to old ways of being that no longer served so new ways could be born.

My dream plunged me into examining how well I would face my own death by whatever means it might come and what qualities the executed man in my dream called upon that enabled him to be so peaceful as he faced his death. Peter Matthiessen in the book “The Inner Journey: Views from Native Traditions” states that “Seeking manifests itself to the very end, as in the Death Song…which is a celebration of existence”… that helps one “achieve a transcendent state of mind in order to face death…It was very important to the Indian to die well, for one’s dying was not only a part of living but an expression of one’s life, completing the circle.”

Contemplation on this theme brought me back to the truism that one often dies as they have lived, so that if you want to die a peaceful death, trusting in the process of surrendering into mystery, one needs to live that way every day, working those “surrender muscles” so they can be called on and respond appropriately at a moment’s notice. I had my first assignment for quest #37.

The second “wisdom theme” of “medicine guidance” also came through a dream.  In it I was shown the importance of using male physical strength and testosterone to create a safe world so that the feminine would feel protected and secure in bringing forth its life-nourishing gifts. It didn’t take long for this dynamic to manifest in our own group. The very next night I sat before the Fire with the returned questors sharing our experiences, the lone woman in our group spoke last.

She had been working with healing childhood trauma. She shared how a song had come to her that was of immeasurable help in her process but that she didn’t want to sing it with us because it would sound “hokey”.  Forewarned by my dream, I got that hokey was a code word for not feeling safe.

Moved by the power I felt in her as she spoke about the impact of her song, I stepped into the breach. “Sister, I think the song you got was not just for you but needs to be heard by all of us here in the circle.  It was given to you but also through you for others as well. I offer you an invitation to sing it for us with that understanding, recognizing that you share a gift and honor us and your self as Sacred Woman by doing so. If this doesn’t feel right to you, then it is ok to not sing the song and I accept that as you doing what you need to do to take care of your self. But I do want to extend the invitation.”

I sat back to see how she responded.  For long minutes she gazed silently into the Fire. I was curious to see what she would do and felt fine about whatever her choice turned out to be.  The fire crackled, the wind moved softly in the night. Suddenly she looked up and started to sing, softly at first but gaining in strength and volume as she went on. The tenderness and courage of her song touched us all. By the time she finished several of the men were in tears.

“Wow, that was beautiful” I said. “Thank you for your courage in bringing it through. It truly is a medicine song, a power song that needs to be sung for more people. You have been gifted with something that is ‘wakan’, sacred. May you carry it out into the world for it will help others in their healing as it has helped you and touched us all very deeply.”

Gratitude welled in my heart for this double gift from the Mystery - the gift from the dreaming and the opportunity to start bringing it into practice, using masculine power to help create safe space for the gifts of the feminine to come forth and feed life.

I sit at home now reflecting on the years of medicine gifts and “assignments” from my times on quest. I see that this writing is but a first step in dipping into the gift box to share more of what I have been so fortunate to receive through this ancient but still relevant shamanic pathway to a soul-based and heart-centered life.

A voice from listening during star-filled cold nights on high mountain peaks, a voice that speaks from steaming hot jungles in the Amazon rainforest, echoes deep within -

“Hear me Two Leggeds, I speak the truth. You are my children, but so too are all the Lived. You must relearn to walk in respectful harmony with all your relations or by your own hand, not mine, you will destroy your only home and take many others with you. Hear me Two Leggeds, come out to what you call the wild places and sit with me awhile. I will fill your soul with nourishment.  I will help you remember your true identity, your wholeness and your holiness, your purpose in being here. But I need your help, your cooperation.  For your sake, for the sake of All, please hear my call.”

Hola Relatives - 39 year old James Shane McConkey, a family friend,
went into the Italian Earth at 120 miles per hour on Thursday March 26th.
He couldn’t get his skis torelease when he did a back-flip off a peak in the
Dolomites while filming a movie.

He went into an upside-down spin where he couldn’t open his chute. He finally
succeeded in releasing his skis, then spread out his wing suit one second before
the impact that took his precious life. He died in full flight, living his integrity
right up to the very last moment.

Shane was a world champion extreme skier who loved life, who loved pushing
the envelope - going for it - to see what was possible. He loved laughter, his family, his
friends. You can learn more about him and read tributes to him at
http://shanemcconkey.org/.

Shane left his dear wife Sherry and little girl Ayla, three years old. Saturday
afternoon a group of us hiked with Sherry to the top of Brockway Summit.
Far below Lake Tahoe shimmered in surreal beauty in the clear sunlit day.
Above only blue sky, a soft wind - the Breath of the Great Spirit. Three
ravens circled nearby. Fifteen of us sat on the rock outcrop taking it
in.

It was a gorgeous place to be alive in. We shared Shane stories. Laughed
and cried together. I led a prayer. We gave thanks for Shane’s life. It was
good to be together sharing the heavy burden of loss and grief.

A large public memorial service was held outdoors Sunday at Squaw Valley
on another gorgeous sun-dazzingly day. Snow covered cliffs, magnificent
in their majesty and beauty, offered silent tribute along with the large crowd there
to pay respects to one of their own. Squaw Valley was Shane’s home base.

Throughout the tender and touching sharing from Shane’s parents, friends and
wife Sherry, a butterfly, symbol of transformation, swooped and darted,
weaving in and out through the crowd. Shane’s spirit was alive and well,
still flying, enjoying his loved ones.

“When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your
eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long
to return.” - Leonardo da Vinci

Monday morning before an Easter egg hunt in the snow that my wife Andrea and
daughter Nicole put together for Shane’s three year old daughter Ayla and a
bunch of the community kids touched by Shane’s death, I went for a hike up
nearby Shirley Canyon. I climbed up to a ridge overlooking the valley. The
snow was firm and crisp. I didn’t sink in at all. Only the sounds of the
wind in the trees, the rushing creeks fed by snow melt in the burning hot
sun, birds greeting the coming of spring to the mountains. So peaceful,
so beautiful, so home.

Something shiny caught my eye. I bent over to pick it up. It was a pin, a
rhinestone star. I brought it down the mountain and gave it to Ayla, a gift
from her Daddy I said. Sherry put it on her daughter’s sweater. They smiled.

I gave Sherry a God’s Eye I had made. The Huichols have a shaman make a
God’s Eye and put it over a newborn baby’s bed where it hangs for five years
- God’s eye watching over the little one as it grows into its life path. In
the middle of the God’s Eye was yellow yarn, symbolizing the light that
Shane was/is and how he touched people around the world with his joy, his
generosity, his spirit, his love. Now his eye, joined and one with the
Spirit’s eye, will watch over little Ayla.

Shane’s death touches many people. He lived, and died, in his full
integrity, going for the fullest experience of being alive that he could
find. He lived his dream. He died doing so as well.

“There comes a time when one must risk something, or sit forever with one’s
dreams”. - Trevor Peterson

I feel the stirrings of new life as I look within to see what wants to live
more fully in my own exploration and dreaming. May Shane’s life and passing
feed new possibilities of “going for it” in ways that enrich your life as
well.

With love and gratitude for family, friends, community, and this precious
gift of life we are privileged to share.

Tomás

——————————————————————–
Wakan is a non-profit, spiritual organization that offers products and
services for healing and creative expression based on indigenous wisdom
teachings

We buried our last remaining dog yesterday. In the moist earth twenty feet
from our garden. I planted corn and tomatoes and peppers and broccoli and
parsley after burying her. It was Wednesday afternoon. Her name was FLOWER.
She was a sweetie, a little “lovie” Tibetan Terrier. She follows her brother
into the spirit world who left a few months back.

Her body goes into nourishing the Earth which in turn nourishes us with
gifts of new life. New life pouring up from her wet dark Mother Earth Womb
bringing a wisdom power that knows how to blossom flowers and open buds on
fruit trees. Prayers for the Bee People to do their mojo which brings forth
the creation potential of fruit. The Bee People, like many of us, are also
struggling for life in these challenging times. Prayers for their survival
and well being.

This morning I went out into the garden to do my prayers. I offered
thanks-giving for the life of our dear little doggie - FLOWER - her spirit
now released from suffering body, free to merge with the Mystery Light of
Infinite Love. I then turned to give thanks to the blossoming flowers all
around me. I was touched by the juxtaposition of death and life, right there
at my feet. FLOWER AND Flowers.

I turned toward the Sun, offering thanks-giving when I noticed - two deer
grazing peacefully on the hillside before me. Then a wild turkey boldly
gobbled its song from the trees behind them. Stunned, I paused to take it
all in. Suddenly a Peregrine Falcon burst out of the trees where the deer
and turkey were. It flew no more than twenty feet above me moving north to
south - from the place of wisdom (north) to the place of faith, trust and
surrender (south) - the place where new growth comes from; the growth that
comes from death, letting go of the old so the new can come through.

I miss our little FLOWER; the love she brought to our home and family. But
grazing Deer, gobbling Turkey ( the animal who named the Sun in the Huichol
tradition) and power-filled Falcon told me that it is all working. The
mystery is alive and well. FLOWER is ok. Life IS.

It’s SPRINGTIME.
HALLELUJAH!
AS HAS HAPPENED FOR MILLINIAS OF TIME, REBIRTH EMERGES ONCE AGAIN IN THE
MAGICAL WISDOM CYCLES OF THE COSMOS BRINGING FORTH LIFE FROM DEATH.

ITS IN US. WE ARE IN IT.

HALLELUJAH AGAIN. AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

MAY THE BLESSING OF NEW LIFE, NEW GROWTH, AND NEW BLOSSOMING FILL YOU AND
YOUR LOVED ONES WITH CREATIVE POWER TO MEET YOUR CHALLENGES IN WAYS THAT
BRING FORTH YOUR GREATEST GOOD. MAY IT BE SO!

HAPPY SPRING EQUINOX. LOVE, tomás

Ho relatives - thoughts to ponder.

Why, with all the media coverage of the “stimulus package”, with all the concern about the economic meltdown , with all the discussion about what is happening, who is at fault, what the future holds, etc., there is no discussion about the underlying premise that increasing consumption is the way to solve our problems?????

Why no questioning the idea that the crisis in global capitalism requires “rehabilitating” the purchasing power of the consumer in order to rush out to the mall to get “more and newer stuff”, the majority of which we don’t even need?

Why do we take the brightest of our youth, pay them good salaries to use their creativity, intelligence and drive in service to media inundation that cops our minds into believing we need the products they push in order to be happy, make our lives work, get laid, be a success??

Why not use this resource and all our resources to raise consciousness about what is needed to create a sustainable world that works for all beings?

The real bottom line? Happiness and meaning can not be bought. The soul can not be fed by the material. I am no fan of capitalism but I am open to the possibility that elements of it can be used in a social and environmentally sane manner - IF - it is put in its proper place, i.e., to serve the well being of people, community and the natural world. Instead of manipulation, greed, exploitation, and fabricating false need, why not bring it into relationship with service to bringing through the greatest good for all??

Howz about creating an economic system that works to bring more peace, justice, beauty, healing, harmony and love into the world? You know, one that welcomes each child born and provides health care, housing, nutrition, education, meaningful gainful employment, and full social security throughout the life cycle? That
nurtures cooperation, caring, community? That encourages and supports the fullest realization of each person’s unique gifts and contributions?

and, how about - 12 ATTITUDES THAT NEED CHANGE IN HOSPICING THE DEATH OF THE OLD “EARTH-POISONING DREAM”, IN ORDER TO HELP BIRTH THE NEW DREAM THAT RECOGNIZES AND HONORS THE SACREDNESS OF OUR INTERCONNECTEDNESS”.

Gotta go - Adios - Hit the road jack!

1. Everything is separate.

2. One person can’t really make a difference.

3. Western society has nothing to learn from non-western people.

4. Science and technology will save us.

5. Nature has to be controlled.

6. Unregulated global capitalism is the best economic system.

7. Re-energizing consumer capitalism is the way to solve our problems.

8. People have always been violent, it’s in our genes.

9. White is right.

10. Nothing good to be gained from responsible use of entheogenic plants.

11. There is nothing to be done about the genocide of Native Peoples & the enslavement of indigenous African Peoples. Its all in the past.

12. Control, incarceration and punishment are the best ways to ensure safety.

May our collective “ponderings” fuel creativity, innovation, survival-based intelligence, new dreaming, new story, new paradigms and new actions, all in alignment with the Flow of the Great Tao for Peace in the World, Peace in our Hearts, and Peace for All People.

may it be so. tomás

Hola Relatives - many thanks to all of you who sent out your prayers for those of us on Quest. I deeply appreciate it. I am so happy to share that my back, with help from other questors carrying various items from my load, did fine. I emerged from the hike out with absolutely no problems. Un mil gracias a Spiritu, to the healing power and wisdom that lives within us all and to all who helped out in so many different ways with my healing. IMMENSE GRATITUE!

The Quest itself was blessed with beautiful warm weather starting with clear sky Monday night under full moon as we slept on smooth granite slabs as large as a football field. The medicine was strong, good, insightful, inspiring, healing and illuminating as we worked, and were worked by, contemplative thought and vision around what is trust, what is authentic being, what is deeper intention, how can we heal wounds of old, how to build courage, achieve balance, and how can we live our spirituality in a world emphasizing materialism, fear, and ignorance of our true nature?

It always amazes me to experience the gifts that come from putting ourselves into situations where we can live intimately with the sanity of our ancient heritage - a natural being in a natural world. Perceptual membrane boundaries of ego-based separation begin to dissolve, consciousness opens to the interconnectedness of the cosmic web we live in and through which we are related to All, dreams bring power, wisdom and guidance, and the “non-human people” that are alive and conscious, manifest themselves in all their wonder and intelligence. Sure works for me, and that is why I keep doing it.

We spent our last night in beautiful Tenaya Valley sitting in circle around Grandfather Fire sharing the teachings, testings and “touchings” from our time on quest, then ceremonially spreading the ashes honoring the life of a recently departed spritual brother Gene Kunitomi - “Gino”.

We returned to the Season of Fall, gathering the crops of summer and releasing what needs to be released with faith and trust that the winter season which we now move towards will provide its magic that results in the renewal of life in the spring.

With prayers for you all and for good snow in the Sierra so the Trout People will live another season. Thank you for all you do, all you are, and for all you contribute to the Healing of the Sacred Hoop we are Privileged to be a part of for the time of our Life Walk.

Long, healthy, happy, meaningful and fulfilling lives to you, your loved ones, gratitude to our Ancestor Spirits and To All Our Relations.

Love, tomás

Hola Compadres -

I got back September 30 from my thirty-fith year of vision questing filled with gratitude for so many gifts of grace. Six of us backpacked into a magical valley with easier entry but no less spectacular than the Sweet Medicine Valley I have been going to for so many years. The valley is surrounded by towering granite cliffs, a creek running through a granite channel filled with pools to wade in, some deep enough to swim in, trout darting to and fro, mother bear walking by with cub, eagle and hawk and falcon overhead.

It was just magnificent, filled with many great sites for individual questing. With a shorter and easier hike in, it opens up the doorway to continue doing the quests as my body ages for a longer period of time than the previous site would have allowed for. It also opens up the opportunity for others of you to go on quest without having to climb over a mountain as was necessary with the previous site. Some folks have already begun signing up for the 2008 Quest and with space limited to eight people, its not to early to reserve your place if you feel the call to go.

The major part of the quest medicine for me was taking in the power, beauty and wisdom teachings of the mountains, the ancestor spirits there, the clear night sky with full moon, the sacred fire, the animal spirits, the Earth itself. I also went deeper - with dreams, ceremony, meditation and journeying - into the work I initiated with my presentation on “A New Vision of Conscious Aging” just before departing on quest.

I gained richer understanding of the “Five Developmental Tasks for Conscious Aging” which I will be sharing through future workshops, retreats and individual Life Enrichment Coaching. Give me an email buzz if you are interested in hearing more about it and weren’t able to make to the presentation.

Blessings to you all from the Heart of the Sierra and my heart to yours’.

Love, tomás

Trout wants to learn the song. The one I sang around the fire a few nights ago. I sang it again when we stood in a semi-circle around Guadalupe’s grave site. There on that Mexican soil. In Huichol country. The native people of Nayarit, in the mountains outside of Tepic, the crowded city three hours north of Puerto Vallarta where the gringo tourists don’t go.

“Sing it again” he said. ” Its’ a good song but I’m terrible at learning it. I just have to groove it into my brain.”. Trout, some of us call him “Trucha”. He calls himself that some time. He’s a good man. He does good work helping teenagers and their families in pain. People who have been hurt really bad with the way life can go sometimes. He helps them. So I sing the song again.

I really like to sing. Songs that have heart. Songs that tell a good story. That open you up and make you feel good inside. Songs that make you think about things its good to think about some times.

I sing it slowly and Trucha sings along with me. I sing when I feel like it. Sometimes I sing because I don’t like how I’m feeling. So I sing. I know an Apache medicine woman who long ago told me that when she was upset she would sing. Those were some good words. They stuck to my ribs. So now I sing to help re remember that I can use a good song like a tool that you use to fix something that is broken. Or to make something new.

I didn’t used to sing out loud with other people a round. I was ashamed. Embarrassed. Afraid other people would make fun of me. That my voice was so bad. I had a teacher in 10th grade. A music teacher. I signed up for a chorus class but I quit the first day. I just walked out. She made me feel bad about myself. About my voice.

I didn’t sing around anyone for a long, long time after that. But now I do. I breathed life back into my voice, into my spirit. Now I sing a lot. Its one of my favorite things to do. When I feel like it. I like to song those
songs that make me feel good inside and maybe help other people feel good inside too. Beats feeling bad. There a lot of that going around these days.

“I take delight in the peace of the river, flowing so gently to the strength of the sea”.

We’re singing together now, Trucha and me. He’s getting it. He slips up with a few words so I correct him and we’re off again. He catches the current and downstream we go.I think about the people he will share this song with in his life, in his work. That makes me feel happy.

“I take delight in the love that is flowing, just like a river, between you and me.”

It’s hard for me to get that last word the right sound. Somebody who knows better than I would say the “right key or note” or something like that. But I keep singing it anyway. Even though it’s not all perfect. But its not
about entertaining. I’m not an entertainer, somebody with a great voice that other people pay to hear sing because they have the gift of a beautiful voice. No, that’s not me. Nobody is gong to pay to hear me sing.

I sing because I’ve got too. Sometimes I feel all talked out in my life. So much talking over so many years. I get tired of it. I’d rather be quiet. Or sing.

“I think I’ve got it!” says Trucha.

“Yes, I think you do”.

The two energies in the song are about peace and love. The river. Flowing. And the ocean. The place of big strength.

Then there’s delight. Like an old black blues singer. Singing about “de light”.

The song is coming alive in Trucha now. We’re driving down a narrow, curvy mountain road on our way back to Vallarta from visiting our Huichol friends. We’re singing about the river and it’s flowing in us, through us. “The love that is growing….” Yes indeed, growing that love. Yes sir. Yes indeed. Growing that love.

Makes me think of one of my favorite sayings - “In the game of life, the one who loves the most wins!

We’re in the river now, growing that love. Between you and me.

It’s sweet. The road is real treacherous here at night. Trucks roar bye leaning heavy into the other lane, our lane. The one we are in. There are no lights on this road through the mountains that run up and down this
part of the coast heading south. I’m hoping and praying a burro doesn’t amble out into the road. Or somebody passing where they shouldn’t be. Happens all the time here. Grave site memorials dot the roadside every couple of hundred yards or so. But hey, I got no control about what burros
or other drivers do.

So I sing. It smoothes out the road. Eases out the tension building up in my hunched up shoulders and tight belly. Can’t beat singing. Sure glad I started singing again but hey, that’s another story for another time. Right now we’re grooving the song deeper into our brain’s river bank.
A man could do worse.

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