2007 QUEST FOR VISION IN “MERRY VALLEY”.

October 23rd, 2007

Hola Compadres -

I got back September 30 from my thirty-fith year of vision questing filled with gratitude for so many gifts of grace. Six of us backpacked into a magical valley with easier entry but no less spectacular than the Sweet Medicine Valley I have been going to for so many years. The valley is surrounded by towering granite cliffs, a creek running through a granite channel filled with pools to wade in, some deep enough to swim in, trout darting to and fro, mother bear walking by with cub, eagle and hawk and falcon overhead.

It was just magnificent, filled with many great sites for individual questing. With a shorter and easier hike in, it opens up the doorway to continue doing the quests as my body ages for a longer period of time than the previous site would have allowed for. It also opens up the opportunity for others of you to go on quest without having to climb over a mountain as was necessary with the previous site. Some folks have already begun signing up for the 2008 Quest and with space limited to eight people, its not to early to reserve your place if you feel the call to go.

The major part of the quest medicine for me was taking in the power, beauty and wisdom teachings of the mountains, the ancestor spirits there, the clear night sky with full moon, the sacred fire, the animal spirits, the Earth itself. I also went deeper - with dreams, ceremony, meditation and journeying - into the work I initiated with my presentation on “A New Vision of Conscious Aging” just before departing on quest.

I gained richer understanding of the “Five Developmental Tasks for Conscious Aging” which I will be sharing through future workshops, retreats and individual Life Enrichment Coaching. Give me an email buzz if you are interested in hearing more about it and weren’t able to make to the presentation.

Blessings to you all from the Heart of the Sierra and my heart to yours’.

Love, tomás

LEARNING A NEW SONG

June 11th, 2007

Trout wants to learn the song. The one I sang around the fire a few nights ago. I sang it again when we stood in a semi-circle around Guadalupe’s grave site. There on that Mexican soil. In Huichol country. The native people of Nayarit, in the mountains outside of Tepic, the crowded city three hours north of Puerto Vallarta where the gringo tourists don’t go.

“Sing it again” he said. ” Its’ a good song but I’m terrible at learning it. I just have to groove it into my brain.”. Trout, some of us call him “Trucha”. He calls himself that some time. He’s a good man. He does good work helping teenagers and their families in pain. People who have been hurt really bad with the way life can go sometimes. He helps them. So I sing the song again.

I really like to sing. Songs that have heart. Songs that tell a good story. That open you up and make you feel good inside. Songs that make you think about things its good to think about some times.

I sing it slowly and Trucha sings along with me. I sing when I feel like it. Sometimes I sing because I don’t like how I’m feeling. So I sing. I know an Apache medicine woman who long ago told me that when she was upset she would sing. Those were some good words. They stuck to my ribs. So now I sing to help re remember that I can use a good song like a tool that you use to fix something that is broken. Or to make something new.

I didn’t used to sing out loud with other people a round. I was ashamed. Embarrassed. Afraid other people would make fun of me. That my voice was so bad. I had a teacher in 10th grade. A music teacher. I signed up for a chorus class but I quit the first day. I just walked out. She made me feel bad about myself. About my voice.

I didn’t sing around anyone for a long, long time after that. But now I do. I breathed life back into my voice, into my spirit. Now I sing a lot. Its one of my favorite things to do. When I feel like it. I like to song those
songs that make me feel good inside and maybe help other people feel good inside too. Beats feeling bad. There a lot of that going around these days.

“I take delight in the peace of the river, flowing so gently to the strength of the sea”.

We’re singing together now, Trucha and me. He’s getting it. He slips up with a few words so I correct him and we’re off again. He catches the current and downstream we go.I think about the people he will share this song with in his life, in his work. That makes me feel happy.

“I take delight in the love that is flowing, just like a river, between you and me.”

It’s hard for me to get that last word the right sound. Somebody who knows better than I would say the “right key or note” or something like that. But I keep singing it anyway. Even though it’s not all perfect. But its not
about entertaining. I’m not an entertainer, somebody with a great voice that other people pay to hear sing because they have the gift of a beautiful voice. No, that’s not me. Nobody is gong to pay to hear me sing.

I sing because I’ve got too. Sometimes I feel all talked out in my life. So much talking over so many years. I get tired of it. I’d rather be quiet. Or sing.

“I think I’ve got it!” says Trucha.

“Yes, I think you do”.

The two energies in the song are about peace and love. The river. Flowing. And the ocean. The place of big strength.

Then there’s delight. Like an old black blues singer. Singing about “de light”.

The song is coming alive in Trucha now. We’re driving down a narrow, curvy mountain road on our way back to Vallarta from visiting our Huichol friends. We’re singing about the river and it’s flowing in us, through us. “The love that is growing….” Yes indeed, growing that love. Yes sir. Yes indeed. Growing that love.

Makes me think of one of my favorite sayings - “In the game of life, the one who loves the most wins!

We’re in the river now, growing that love. Between you and me.

It’s sweet. The road is real treacherous here at night. Trucks roar bye leaning heavy into the other lane, our lane. The one we are in. There are no lights on this road through the mountains that run up and down this
part of the coast heading south. I’m hoping and praying a burro doesn’t amble out into the road. Or somebody passing where they shouldn’t be. Happens all the time here. Grave site memorials dot the roadside every couple of hundred yards or so. But hey, I got no control about what burros
or other drivers do.

So I sing. It smoothes out the road. Eases out the tension building up in my hunched up shoulders and tight belly. Can’t beat singing. Sure glad I started singing again but hey, that’s another story for another time. Right now we’re grooving the song deeper into our brain’s river bank.
A man could do worse.

****check out new cd from tomás — 25 CEREMONIAL HEART SONGS AND CHANTS — see Shopping Cart for more information.

VISIT TO HUICHOL LAND

February 26th, 2007

Hola Relatives–the first day back from our Journey south to Huichol land I saw a rainbow, a spirit bridge between the Earth and Sky. Now I seek to make a bridge also, from the Heart of Mexico and a People who still seek to follow their ancestral shamanic wisdom ways, into our mainstream culture of modernity here in “el norte”.

First off, thank you for all your prayers, your Prayer Arrow offerings, your financial gifts, and for your caring and support of our venture. Each of us, Rosie, Vita, Trucha, Gary, Mark and myself thank you deeply. Without the support of Wakan and your generosity this trip would not have been possible. Soon you will have a visible record of our time there through the beautiful pictures that were taken. We hope to have a slide show and maybe even a DVD made up for you. Stay tuned.

For now I use words to begin the bridging process.

It was eight years ago that a group of us was last with our extended Huichol family in Mexico. We gathered around Grandmother Guadalupe as she moved closer into her “Death Lodge” work sharing with us her final medicine offerings knowing that we would not see her again in this world. She died May 9th, 1999. Her body lies buried at her rancho outside Tepic, two and half hours north of Puerto Vallarta in the mountains from which she came.

We met the whole gang at the rancho - Maria, Guadalupe’s niece and the one who Grandmother passed her Medicine Bundle on to when she died, her children and grandchildren and Dona Manuela, Guadalupe’s sister, the elder who is in her mid-80’s now, frail and ill, living in what we would call poverty on another rancho, raising her 10 year old step son by herself. Despite poor health, Manuela still carries on the spiritual and ceremonial functions of the Elder of her familia and we were blessed to take part in a number of ceremonies that she led.

I went to Mexcio with second-hand stories that led me to believe that the rancho would be in a state of disarray, and the family as well. Times have been hard for the people since Guadalupe’s death. But to my surprise and delight, the rancho looked great, other than some thatched roofs needing repair. Beautiful flowers were blooming, trees in full growth, the “Tuki”, or Spirit House, was full of good “kupuri” (energy), and the other structures were all in good shape.

With the exception of one of Maria’s daughters and her young son who were back in the family house in the Huichol barrio of Tepic, all the others were there in a delightful potpouri of babies, little kids, teenagers, young adults, husband from the neighboring Tepehuano tribe, Maria and Manuela. It was a very special treat to see how youngsters I have know all of their lives have now grown up into young adults. Their warm and loving reception of us all made me feel right at home again, the same thing I felt when I first journeyed south to meet the Huichols twenty one years ago.

We pitched our tents close to the Sacred Fire and spent our nights with the Huichols sitting around its light — singing, talking, drumming, rattling, joking, in silence. No tv, no email, no computers, just the stars above us, soft nights and warm, good sharing around the Fire. Manuela led us in pilgrimage to San Blas, a holy site for the Huichols where the Gods and Goddesses first landed here in the Middle World and began the first pilgrimage to Wiricuta to find its center. She also led us in a very touching ceremony at Guadalupe’s gravesite. Different people from the family shared different healing medicines with us in ceremony and informally during the day as we interacted with them in the course of eating and various chores around the rancho and trips into Tepic (the nearest city) where Maria has a dilapidated house in the Huichol section of town. The whole family lives in the two bedroom cinder block house when they are in town for work and the kids going to school.

There were many touching moments for all of us with one coming to mind as I write: mark and I were sitting around Grandpa Fire late one night as Cundo, the Tepehuano man who married into the tribe and who is a serious student of plant healing, tried to comfort his young daughter crying on his lap from an injured foot. Cundo, loving and patient father that he is, wasn’t able to calm the little one. I suggested mark pick his flute and play which he did, and which calmed little Brisa down. After he stopped she started up again so I picked up my drum and began to sing and play and she fell asleep in his arms. Cundo went and put her down for the night and then came back and hugged us warming for helping him out. We noted that each of us was the father of two daughters and embraced the gift of our children and our shared comraderie of fatherhood.

It was wonderful working with our team of gringo’s, each of whom brought their special gifts to our adventure. Great cooperation, sensitivity and collective wisdom in decision making. Thank you fellow pilgrims one and all!

I was especially pleased to hear that the family is picking up the Wiricuta Pilgrimage trail again and will be leaving April 2nd for the journey. They asked for our prayers and for Maria picking up the Medicine Bundle in a good way. We will be fasting and praying for them while on their journey . The family plans to go back again next year and perhaps a group of us will go to the rancho to help hold space while they are gone. This is important work as the Fire and Prayers must be continuous to protect the pilgrims and help assure a safe and fruitful trip.

Due to legal situations it might be several years before we are able to join them on the actual pilgrimage. Nevertheless, it feels wonderful to see them pick up The Path again and see how we can support them in maintaining their age old traditions that have so much to offer us in the west as we face the challenges of life styles that have polluted Mother Earth and caused so much violence and suffering in the world. Through our week long discussions and explorations we learned more about their specific needs and how we might be helpful to them in meaningful ways. You will be hearing more about this in the months to come but for now, I thank you all once again for your support that made this trip of reconnection possible. We are reunited with the spiritual roots of Wakan and it feels great.

A final personal note in closing — lying in my sleeping bag one night it suddenly struck me that when Manuela dies, I will be the oldest one left of the extended family who began working together in 1983 when I first met Guadalupe. Three of the shamans I have worked with have now crossed over, as well as some other elders. When I was doing my closing prayers in the Tuki before departing to Puerto Vallarta, two of the older girls came in to be with me. I was so touched as they looked to me to be included in my prayer. I did a blessing for them and I was brought to tears when I saw how they took it in. While not a Huichol of course, I have known them all their lives. I am indeed one of their elders and I saw how they look towards me in some ways that my own daughters do. It made me realize on a deeper level my debt of gratitude for how the path of their ancestors has helped me find my life and what I owe the next generation in support for their lives to go in a good way.

The web of interconnected relationship through time and space, of love and caring, of family and community, dropped several notches deeper into my soul. I give thanks to the Great Mystery for bringing me together with these special people that have taken me, and the other pilgrims, so warmly into their lives.

I hope and pray that we all can honor what we have been so fortunate to have been gifted with that truly serves living a good life for the greatest good of all. May it be so. Love, tomás

A CALLING TO TRANSFORM THE IMPULSE TOWARDS VIOLENCE

February 2nd, 2007

One of the great challenges facing our world today is the challenge to transform the impulse to violence so the power within it can be used in a constructive fashion to sustain and honor life, instead of destroying it. Wars, violence towards women and children, gang wars in the inner city, suburban violence in the schools, the list goes on.

Most of the violence comes from men. With the testosterone that makes us men physiologically, also comes the impulse towards violence that indeed was a survival mechanism when we had to defend our families and ourselves against saber tooth tigers and the like. But in today’s world this impulse to act out violently towards that which we feel anger or threatened by, brings us to the brink of catastrophe.

Outside of a lobotomy, or castration, testosterone is with us to stay, so the task is to find a way to access the power of the impulse to violence in males and use it for good in the world. My life has been a journey of exploration, first of the violence and what it can do when acted upon, and then, seeing the havoc it wrought, trying to find a way to create a new relationship with the impulse, to befriend it and use it skillfully in expressions that truly honor and protect life, that nurture life and help it grow in a healthy and peaceful way.

Towards this end I have been called by Spirit, or whatever you want to call the creative power of the universe, to create a theatre piece and what I call “heart songs”, which addresses the challenge. I was born into violence and its aftermath, I lived out violence through juvenile delinquency and gang fights, and I have traveled around the world for over thirty-five years studying with indigenous wisdom elders from different traditions how they handle the challenge. Through shamanic journeys with these people I was gifted with vision to see another way, a way of love, a way of peace.

I was gifted again by being asked to help start the second hospice program in the United States and then helping to start the Center for Attitudinal Healing where I have served as clinical consultant for over 30 years working with children, adults and families facing life threatening illness. In the dire situations of life and death I was able to put the visionary teachings to real tests, to see if and how they showed up in response. The teachings passed the test. It is the fruits of those teachings, those potentialities that are in all of us as human beings that offer an alternative to violence.

I am in the process of recording the songs with professional musicians who are interested in the material, and working with an internationally known theatre figure to develop a one person play that brings the teachings to a larger audience than those I see individually or in my groups or retreats. I believe this work has the ability to touch people in their hearts, open their minds and inspire them to access their own creative potentials for meaningful expression in the world.

What I am talking about is the use of sacred theatre, story telling, music, and song to help the waking up process that our planet is struggling to do so that future generations might have a safe, sane and healthy world in which to live. The theatre piece will be filmed and made into a DVD which along with CD’s of the songs, will be made available to schools, youth groups, social service, and mental health agencies to aid in their violence prevention and treatment programs.

I am seeking financial support in the form of donations, gifts, grants (I am director of a non-profit organization eligible to receive grants for which the grantee gets a tax benefit) benefactor, etc. by which I can have the time and support to bring these projects to completion as high quality finished productions.

Expenses include: theatre coach, musicians, recording studio time, materials and production costs, filing and editing costs, and time off from my work responsibilities for six months to focus on bringing the project to completion and ready to go.

This is inspirational work that sheds light on another way to use the power of male energy, and all people’s energy, in a creative manner that short-circuits violence and promotes peace, healing, dialogue.

For more information, contact Dr.Tom Pinkson at thomas@microweb.com
Www.nierica.com
Contributions can be sent to 710 C st. #211 San Rafael, CA 94901 and are tax deductible if made out to WAKAN, INC.

Thank you
Tom Pinkson (tomás)

HOLIDAY GREETINGS

December 11th, 2006

Hola relatives–the below words came through a few days ago so here they be.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO A HEALTHY AND PEACEFUL WORLD

WITH ECOLOGICAL BALANCE,

LIBERTY,

AND SOCIAL/ECONOMIC JUSTICE FOR ALL.

MAY IT BE SO FOR ALL MY RELATIONS

WITH PEACE IN THE WORLD

PEACE IN OUR HEARTS

AND

PEACE FOR ALL PEOPLE.

MAY YOU ALL HAVE A WONDEROUS HOLIDAY SEASON

FULL WITH THE LIGHT, LOVE AND PROMISE

OF THE LOOKS-WITHIN TIME.

MAY YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW MUCH

YOU

ARE LOVED.

tomás

GLAD TO BE HERE!

November 29th, 2006

Hola relatives–last night was dark and rainy as I turned off Lindero street into a driveway when my car was smashed into by a speeding motorcycle. I never saw it coming, only a sudden explosion-like crash. I had no idea what happened. Shocked, I got out of my car and looked behind me. I saw a motorcycle on its side and to my horror, a man sprawled out in the street lying motionless. “Oh my God, I’ve killed him!” I thought.

No one else was there. I rushed over to him and bent over close to his face to see if he was breathing. To my huge relief, he was alive! He was able to talk. I asked him where he hurt the most, checked him for external bleeding and ascertained that his neck and spine were ok and he could move his hands and legs. Hallelujah!

By now some folks had come out of the nearbye building to see what had happened. I told them to call 911 and get me a blanket to protect him from the rain and cold. I told the young man that I too, rode a motorcycle and had been in an accident similar to this one and that the bad news was that it had happened, but the good news was that he was going to be ok. (may it be so!). I guided him in relaxing and doing slow healing and releasing breaths and he gratefully thanked me as I stayed with him sending him love until the police and the emergency crew got there and took him to the hospital.

I sat down in my car, front end smashed but still able to drive, and realized I was in a mild state of shock. I gave thanks for the gift of protection for the young man and I, given what could have happened to both of us. Whoa, what a trip. And I never saw it happened. Just like that — BAM! CRASH! Out of the night comes a power that can take away life in an instant.

Then I remembered a dream from the previous week. In the dream it was night time and I came across someone lying in the street who had been in a crash. I stopped to offer whatever help I could and that was the end of the dream. So looking back I see now some part of me knew what was coming. Ah, the mystery, the sacred great mystery.

So relatives, I am very grateful to be here this morning with only my car banged up and not me. I pray for complete healing for this young man who wasa very nice guy. And I pray for all our safety, all ways. May it be so.

Love, tomás

TRUSTING THE RECUPERATIVE POWER OF NATURE/SPIRIT

August 1st, 2006

hola relatives–summer is here in its fullest power and the world is cooking up with growthful challenges. From the despairing wounds of the middle east violence to the searing heat waves in the united states taking the lives of the elderly, this season’s time is working us all. I notice my own frustration, sadness and reactivity get triggered at times, and it is easy to fall into depression and feeling powerless, feeling victim to external events.

i offer a few thoughts that come through my own reflections regarding the evolutionary pressures that we are feeling now. i do believe that the Sacred Great Tao Mystery is seeking to evolve consciousness to higher and higher levels and we, humanity, are a vital part of that process. It is about waking up, remembering our true nature as sacred, worthy beings, woven together in an invisible web of interconnectivity in which, truly, we are all related. it is then about creating ways of responding to the many social and enviromental problems we face in the world in a way that grows us all to our greatest collective good, remembering that what we do to another — person, animal, earth, river, ocean, we do to ourselves and future generations.

We need to create win-win scenarios that help heal the Sacred Hoop of Life and to do this it is imperative that we learn how to humble our egocentricity and open to the wisdom of nature so that we work cooperatively with her, instead of in ignorant, arragant defiance of her as we do so much of today. Nature is the Great Spirit’s manifestion of its Laws of Creation and Sustainability, its wisdom, its generative creative power and its love.

witness the new little dwarf peach tree i planted in our front yard last year. with the coming of spring its new leaves appeared and to my gret dismay, they came out horribly wrinkled and disfigured, victim to the dreaded peach tree curl. for awhile i thought it might be the end of the tree. But i started to talk to it, to pray for it, to thank it for its life. i carefully took off all the despoiled leaves, about 95% of what was there. the poor little tree looked defrocked.

it stayed that way for quite some time but then much to my surprise, new leaves started to come forth and as they grew larger, they stayed healthy. no signs of disease. i was thrilled to see this unexpected outcome and that the recuperative powers of the tree were doing their job. well done! excellent. a complete re-birth. phoenix rising from the ashes. hallelujah! what looked like a total loss was now full of life, health and vitality.

watching this process take place over a period of several months reminded me of previous times in my life when i had been upset, depressed over live events, my own or in the world, and got caught up in my ego mind’s twirling negative conversations. the way i could most successfully break out of this pattern and reconnect with hope, with faith, with light, with love, was to go out onto the Earth and be in nature. even if i was in the city, i would go find a tree, some birds, look up at the sky, the clouds, the sun, feel the wind, the air, look at the stars and moon at night time. I would especially look at trees and even in the heart of winter when i lived in the mountains of the Sierra and the land was covered with snow, i could see at the tips of the tree branches and bushes sticking out of the snow pack the smallest portrudings where new buds would burst forth in the spring.

what the Huichol People call “Tacutsi Nakaway”, Great Grandmother Growth, is always on the job, even when Persephone is down in Hades, she is doing her magical mojo work beneath the surface in the dark womb belly of Mother Earth, creating the conditions that will feed the new growth when the spring arrives. This new life comes out of the death of what has fallen away in the previous fall.

Mother Nature works. she had been doing if for a long time. Shamanic people, indigenous peoples around the world pass the wisdom of how to be in balance with this wisdom down through the generations and it is still alvie today.

Blessings be to the Great Madre, protection and gratitude prayers for the People who still remember, and empowerment prayers for those of us trying to wake up and shapeshift unhealthy, toxic attitudes and behaviors, institutions and practices not based on win-win, sustainable, we-are-all-related ways of meeting our needs.

The little peach tree lives. so too may we all, in a safe, sane and healthy world that works harmoniously with the wisdom teachings of Nature, Great Spirit’s love made visible.

blessings to you all. tomás

ps–you may find some of the new teaching story cd’s that i have recently made of help to you in your own waking up process of growing to greater consciousness. you can get a description of them at the nierica shopping cart. i think you will enjoy the story telling interspersed with music using the ancient traditon of oral transmission. i am hearing good feedback from children and adults. let me know what you think. gracias.

MORE SPRING BLESSINGS AND PRAYER

April 14th, 2006

Hola relatives–blessings of resurrection, rebirth and new life to you all as the end of the long rainy season seems to be nearing an end. May the return of the Light bring us all into the joy of nurturing new growth in the gardens of our lives. below is a prayer I got from a friend back in Virgina that I thought some of you might enjoy as I did. Love, toms

OH GREAT SPIRIT,
Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can’t make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Creator that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictionsthat we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Great Spirit remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity.

Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

MAY IT BE SO!

Spring Time Blessings

April 14th, 2006

Hola relatives–I went to hear John Trudell speak Monday evening after a viewing of a movie about his life. John was a Native activist and instrumental in the Native takeover of Alcatraz in 1969 and of the Wounded Knee occupation in the mid-1970’s. After the mysterious house burning in which his wife and three children and mother-in-law perished (just 12 hours after he burned an American flag in Washington D.C.as a protest to the governments treatment of Native Peoples!), he dropped out of politics. He emerged several years later as a poet whose poems were put to music. He now has a traveling band that carries his medicine in this way around the country. Very powerful stuff.

He spoke about the need to own and access sacred power and intelligence in a “coherent way”, not looking to leaders nor to revolution. Instead, work with evolution creating alternative ways of being and meeting our needs, and working with others in a tribal fashion, to make change happen that can sustain life on Mother Earth in a good way for all. John is using his art
to help facilitate this waking up process and I felt very affirmed and strengthened on my own path through hearing him speak.

He counseled to not waste energy on how dumb bush is and the arrogance of the ruling elite for it allows us to be manipulated by the buttons pushed through the media and leads to feelings of disempowerment and alienation. Instead take responsibility for the creative intelligence within us all, within Mother Earth and Nature, and use it in how you live knowing that you do in fact, have the power to make a difference. Very inspiring and timely to the challenges we face in these modern times.

In this light, today marks the beginning of Passover, a time in history when the Jewish People rose up against the power of the Egyptian empire and their own four hundred years of slavery, and against all odds, with Great Spirit’s help, took their freedom back showing us that all things are possible when we align ourselves with the infinite power of the Sacred Great Mystery. May the reminder of what happened thousands of years ago inspire us all to show up in our fullness and bring through the gifts we have been given to make a difference towards a win-win world that works for all. May it be so!

In the midst of the continuing darkness of rain and gloomy weather, may the light and love in our hearts work skillfully with the springtime growth energies for HEALING OF THE SACRED HOOP.

Love, toms

from aging to saging

March 3rd, 2006

Hola relatives–got back yesterday from visiting my 92 year old madre just outside of Washington D.C. I stayed in my mother’s new assisted living facility with her, eating with her new “neighbors” in the dining room, hanging out with them in the social areas and getting a feel for what her new life is like. She seems to be adjusting to it very well, making new friends, engaging in the activities she likes (exercise class, discussion groups, social outings, etc.) and has started a new group that she will be facilitating based on her interests.

At 92 she is alert, present, sharp and up on current affairs. She gets around by herself with a walker and once I slowed down to her speed, we did fine. I do hear the same stories repeatedly but then that gives me chance to respond again in a different way! We had a touching and tearful time going out to the cemetery to “visit” with my grandparents and my father buried
close bye one another. The headstone for my dad has my mother’s name on it with the date of her birth, and then it is open. The day we were there it was really freezing with a wind that almost knocked her over when I wasn’t holding her upright. We joked about her not dying during the winter cold or rain and instead doing so in the summer when the weather was good and she said with a laugh, “I’ll do my best!”

It was very poignant to be with her as she shared her heart with her parents and her husband and she got my water-works going when she told them how happy they would be with my daughter’s children, Corbin and Luke, and the new one due in June. On the way back from we stopped at our old house that
is now up for sale and that was very touching too as we went through it and talked about the memories it brought up for us.

It is an interesting trip to be with the elders and contemplate that down the line I may be in a similar situation. None of us
knows what the future holds for us as we age, though we all know what we hope for, whatever that may be. As for me, I take great comfort in the wisdom guidance I heard from Ram Dass many years ago when his words had less meaning for me than they do now as I move further into my sixties.

Ram Dass spoke about how we are not our bodies, as wonderful as they are. He suggested that as our bodies age, fall apart, no longer function as well as they did in our younger years, as they grow in aches and pains and physical maladies, work on letting go of ego identification with the body and instead begin to identity more with the truth of your being as spirit.

That way when the body progressively goes, more and more of you is identifying with your spirit so you get stronger spiritually with each passing year.

Facing my own mortality and aging process and working with it as an opportunity to go from “aging to saging” (as Rabbi Schalman Schacter so eloquently puts it), strengthens my awareness and appreciation for reallybeing present in the moment to enjoy being here with whomever and whatever I
am doing. This gift of life and our physical well-being and vitality is so precious, its really a waste not to enjoy it fully while we have it.

So here is to all of us for health and happiness, for long and meaningful lives and to walking the heart path to completion. May it be so!

Love, toms