Musings From the Deer Spirit

Ancient Teachings –

“As systems science and ecological understanding is discovering the process
nature of our reality and world as a dynamically interrelated whole, we are
also rediscovering this same understanding in ancient spiritual teachings o
our planet’s peoples around the world.” Joanna Macy

Hola Relatives - one of the many principles from attitudinal work is that we
are all students and teachers for each other. Below is a recent account
from the journal of a middle-aged lawyer whose experience offers a
spiritual teaching about the sacredness of connection and the power of
gratitude to open doorways to its realization.

With great gratitude for the many wonderful teachers in my life. tomás

WHITE DOVE MEDICINE

Tom and I are working on spiritual development rather than traditional “talk
therapy.” We are working on fear and jealously surrounding my partner
Marie’s relationship to her ex-husband. Marie let me know she wanted to
spend time with her son at her ex’s house on Friday to put up Halloween
decorations and have dinner with the three of them. This sets off fear for
me. Tom and I look at this today. First we role play, Tom being Marie, me
being me. Tom states what Marie said: “My ex is the father of my child. I
will be in constant communication with him until my son is grown. He is
part of my larger community and I want to make sure that things are good
with my son and him there.” Somehow, coming from Tom it’s easier to hear
and I am able to lose some of the edge around Marie having dinner with her
ex.

Tom asks me to look inside. “Find the fear, what does it say?” “It is
fear of losing Marie. Fear of being rejected.” “Where is it located?” “In
my heart.” “What does it feel like? What does it look like?” “It’s like a
box. A solid square, constricting my heart.”

I see the square is built thought by thought going from side to side in the
box. Thoughts building on each other making the box stronger, through
repetition. Tom says “Go inside and ask what needs to happen for healing
of the fear. Ask for an ally to help you with it and tell me what appears?”
An image of a White Dove immediately appears to me. The White Dove flies to
my heart, grasps the box and flies it away to the heavens. Leaving my heart
free. Then it comes to my head and grabs a bunch of thought forms, which in
my meditative state appear as sticks and White Dove flies these away as
well.

Tom asks, “what is White Dove’s medicine.” I say, “To take thoughts away
that bind me.” White Dove takes them away, they are released.”
Immediately I feel goose flesh, a tickle of the spine and skin as if
something greater is present. From experience, I know that this is my
body’s way of letting me know that this is Truth.

Tom asks me if I want to give thanks to White Dove for its medicine. “Yes.”
He gives me a drum which I use to sing my gratitude to White Dove and the
Great Spirit. Later Tom speaks of the importance of making gratitude part
of my daily practice through daily offerings .

Friday, White Dove’s Medicine 10/24/09

On Friday, Marie asks me if I want to join her and her son at her ex’s
house. “Yes” I reply. I go and we have a very nice time, sitting and
drinking wine with her ex for 20 minutes as Marie gives her son a bath. It
seemed natural and easy. Scratch my head … this jealousy thing is
unnecessary. Marie states how supported she feels relieved that my jealousy
is leaving.

Sunday, 10/26/09 White Dove Appears

I awake with renewed commitment to White Dove medicine. I realize that I
must commit to making a daily offering to White Dove as Tom has encouraged.
I sit at Marie’s and my altar in front of large windows, and thank White
Dove for the gift of her medicine. I pray that her medicine remain with me
and release me from binding and fearful thoughts. I have a feather on the
altar in front of a statue of Mary. I thank White Dove and state an
intention that this feather be a reminder of it’s medicine. I meditate,
and see that matter is merely energy and that energy and thus matter, is
influenced and shaped by thought.

My eyes open and there is a White Dove flying above our back yard. I do a
double take. I have never seen a white dove in San Rafael and yet here is
one shortly after a prayer to her. I swell with gratitude saying aloud -
“Thank you White Dove for appearing and affirming your energy. Thank you
for the beauty you bring into the world and thank you for the gift of your
medicine that you have brought in my life.” White Dove continues to fly
around our house. Then disappears. I go to our kitchen to get an offering
of food. I find a small stone bowl in which to put an offering and place in
it seeds. I take it to our back deck and raise it above my head, my arms
extended above and say another prayer of gratitude. As I do so, White Dove
appears and flies directly over my head about 10 feet above and calls - a
sound like a purr. I am overwhelmed.

I come inside, tears on my face. Marie asks what’s going on. I tell her
about my work with Tom and what has transpired today with White Dove. She
is deeply appreciative and expresses her wonder and gratitude at what has
transpired. As Marie expresses this, I see White Dove again flying directly
toward us, and Marie sees her too as she flies to our rooftop, very close to
us. Then, all of the sudden there is a commotion. A hawk has swooped down
in an attempt to catch White Dove. Marie sees White Dove escape. I go on
our deck and shoo hawk away.

I go downstairs to the backyard to see if White Dove is injured. I find her
by the stairs leading up the side of our home. She starts to hop up the
stairs. I follow her up the stairs a fair distance behind so as not to
scare her. I lose sight of her as the stairs circle to the front of the
house. When I get to the front of the house I figure she has flown away, as
I cannot find her. Then I look at our covered front entryway and there she
is, at our front door! On our welcome mat. I am overwhelmed with gratitude,
my heart wide open. I call to Marie. We both are amazed when I show Marie
though the front window, that White Dove sitting on our welcome mat. Thank
you Great Spirit.

I am concerned that White Dove was injured by the Hawk. She is on our
sidewalk now. I meditate for a minute and then approach slowly. She flies
perfectly. She is fine. 10 minutes later, we are sitting on our deck
looking out as White Dove makes a final appearance and then departs.

Later that day, I am in the driveway. I hear a noise and look up and on our
steps is a beautiful buck - a gorgeous adult male deer with full antler
coming down the steps that White Dove only recently went up. We live in a
fairly suburban area of San Rafael, and I have not seen a single deer, until
then, on our property. But there he was in all his glory.

Monday 11/2/09

Since White Dove appeared I have been making an offering every day
expressing gratitude daily for her gifts. Today I am particularly
appreciative finding that a whole area of thinking - general worry thoughts
- that was binding me, was leaving… being released, even though I was
putting no conscious attention or energy to stop the thoughts. It was truly
a surprise to realize the subtlety with which the White Dove Medicine was
working and in ways that I had not even thought about. Thank you White Dove.

Later while driving my son to school traveling down Second Street I pull up
next to a white panel van and turn my head to read the writing on the side
and smile as I read it… “DOVE PLACE” it said. I silently express my
gratitude and as I turned my head White Dove is flying overhead 30 feet in
the air. She alights on a nearby utility pole. I get goose flesh again
realizing more than ever that Spirit and our animal allies help us with
medicine gifts if we only listen.

Thank you Spirit for everything. For this life. For my family, Marie and
the boys. For the gifts you give me.

Thank you White Dove for your medicine. I am awed by the gentleness of your
spirit and how your medicine is transforming me.

Thank you Tom for your guidance, helping me to reopen more fully to Spirit
and to Truth.